Mercies in Disguise

This Song plays often on the Christian radio station that we stream online into our home. When I hear it, it makes me think of so many things that I could have had or could have done - and I think of those things as the times that God has steered me towards better things. 

I have two beautiful little children who I adore and love very much. I also have babies that I never held, never met but carried briefly until they went to the arms of Jesus. I think of these babies and have begun to realize that these babies were never "lost" as the terms that define miscarriage imply. I will never see these babies in this world, but I will see them in Heaven, where they have made their home. I never held them in my arms but God has held them before I knew about them. They are not lost, but they were found in Jesus long before I came to be. God knew each of their life's journey and still chose to send them ever so briefly to us. We felt the emotions of joy, happiness and excitement as we planned for a future that was not to be. We felt the emotions of fear, uncertainty and grief as each little life ended far sooner than we had ever imagined. I will never forget those babies but I know that they are in a much better place than I could ever have given them here, and that their earthly journey was complete in their own way. 

To each of those children I will never hold, care for or dream for, the ones that I will not see their first smiles, grins, crawls, steps, or their first day of school, graduation or wedding day, I know that all those things were not in God's plan. I'm still unsure of why His plan was not the same as ours, but I am certain that He knew what He was doing and still does. I choose to trust that these moments were our mercies in disguise. He is in control and as I choose to let Him take more and more control in our lives, we will move forward in peace and joy knowing our path is guided by the One who wrote our life story. 

I choose to allow Him to shape me into the wife and mother He has created me to be. I also live each day knowing that I am not perfect, but am made perfect and whole in Him. Allow Him to change your world and lead you on His perfect path for your life. Learn to recognize your mercies in disguise and thank Him for giving us the choice to serve Him and let Him be the Lord of our lives.

To my sweet daughter and son, I will enjoy each new first and love each day you grow. God will grant me the patience I need to allow you to be the children you are and the wisdom to teach you to grow in God and lead the life that He has called you to. I love you both very much and look forward to many more firsts together.