Mercies in Disguise

This Song plays often on the Christian radio station that we stream online into our home. When I hear it, it makes me think of so many things that I could have had or could have done - and I think of those things as the times that God has steered me towards better things. 

I have two beautiful little children who I adore and love very much. I also have babies that I never held, never met but carried briefly until they went to the arms of Jesus. I think of these babies and have begun to realize that these babies were never "lost" as the terms that define miscarriage imply. I will never see these babies in this world, but I will see them in Heaven, where they have made their home. I never held them in my arms but God has held them before I knew about them. They are not lost, but they were found in Jesus long before I came to be. God knew each of their life's journey and still chose to send them ever so briefly to us. We felt the emotions of joy, happiness and excitement as we planned for a future that was not to be. We felt the emotions of fear, uncertainty and grief as each little life ended far sooner than we had ever imagined. I will never forget those babies but I know that they are in a much better place than I could ever have given them here, and that their earthly journey was complete in their own way. 

To each of those children I will never hold, care for or dream for, the ones that I will not see their first smiles, grins, crawls, steps, or their first day of school, graduation or wedding day, I know that all those things were not in God's plan. I'm still unsure of why His plan was not the same as ours, but I am certain that He knew what He was doing and still does. I choose to trust that these moments were our mercies in disguise. He is in control and as I choose to let Him take more and more control in our lives, we will move forward in peace and joy knowing our path is guided by the One who wrote our life story. 

I choose to allow Him to shape me into the wife and mother He has created me to be. I also live each day knowing that I am not perfect, but am made perfect and whole in Him. Allow Him to change your world and lead you on His perfect path for your life. Learn to recognize your mercies in disguise and thank Him for giving us the choice to serve Him and let Him be the Lord of our lives.

To my sweet daughter and son, I will enjoy each new first and love each day you grow. God will grant me the patience I need to allow you to be the children you are and the wisdom to teach you to grow in God and lead the life that He has called you to. I love you both very much and look forward to many more firsts together. 

Choosing to Cherish

Every day we all make choices but as I watch the childhood of my children begin to fly by I am learning to choose to cherish the little moments that are fleeting, the moments that could upset my routine but I'll never get back if I ignore them.

Last night, Chris and I had just snuggled into bed when our bedroom door opened and in walks our little man. He silently walked through the bedroom, handed me his water cup and climbed in next to me. In that moment I chose not to send him saddened back to his bed but to enjoy his snuggles. Chris went to have a shower and I snuggled that precious little man and sang to him. While I sang, I choked back tears as his little voice joined mine and sang "Jesus Loves Me." Until that moment I knew we sang the childhood favourite often but didn't know he was learning the words. 

When his Daddy came back from the shower he took little man back to his own bed and instead of a tearful fight, he settled quietly and peacefully back into his bed and drifted off to sleep. 

I'm thankful I chose to cherish that moment, and learn to really enjoy his life while it's so tiny. God's faithfulness is so amazing, and evident in our son's sweet little life. 

Psalm 117

Praise the Lord, all you nations! Praise Him, all you people of the world! His mercy  toward us is powerful. The Lord's faithfulness endures forever. Hallelujah!

Blessed and Humbled

This is our God - Hillsong

After a week of up and downs, God has proven that He is still the same faithful God He has always been. Chris began training last week for his new position and became a permanent employee at Bruce Power. He has really enjoyed the change, and is feeling the challenge of being back in the classroom for the next 3 months, but God has provided this job and we are thankful for it.

The beginning of the week I was feeling the pressure of finances, the stress of balancing a budget and not putting in any income always leaves me with a sense of guilt. This week, God has shown me that when we are in His will, He provides.

Every stress this week has been eased with insurance reimbursement I had forgotten about, a surprise blessing and a paycheque that wasn't "supposed" to come, but God's hand is upon us. 

At the end of the week as I reflect on His goodness and grace, it reminds me to sit and pause to reflect more often. To see the good in situations instead of the needs. His grace is enough, more than enough. 

I am humbled by knowing that there are people struggling in this world to provide food and shelter to their children, praying for their survival in unrest, hiding to meet and worship together and yet, God is still concerned for me. My needs are important to Him, even when there are so many far more in need than me. 

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight."

Winter Fun with Friends

Everywhere we look we can see how God has orchestrated our move to Southampton. He quickly provided a home we love, buyers for our home in Brantford and a permanent job for Chris. We have found a new church that we love, great new friends and are building so many new memories as a family. 

Today we planned on picking up a new part for our gas fireplace, since we had to head to Owen Sound we decided to see what some friends were up to. Skating was on their agenda so off we went to get Olivia the skates she needed for school anyways and then we were off to the rink. Rain didn't dampen the fun or the bond that we watched grow stronger between the four children out in the snow and on the ice. 

It never ceases to amaze me how God provides in every need, even if it seems small to us. In providing us a new church that welcomed us without any restraint, He also provided us new friends that we can confide in, and their children are perfectly matched playmates with ours. 

While we waited for Daddy to get the new part at the store, we had a little fun with the camera...

After putting on skates for the first time, the little ones were off. Olivia embraced the experience trying to keep up with her new friend. 

David enjoyed the skating experience for a typical toddler length of time (5 minutes :) ) and then traded in his skates for boots to play in the snow with his new friend.

Two peas in a pod, aren't they adorable??

Hubby still looks good on skates, even without the uniform and goalie gear....

My favourite picture of the day came after a quick tumble into the snow....

There were worried moments where we thought we would have another "green" winter, but with the much anticipated snowfall, we enjoyed a great day outside. With or without a little drizzle, we got to experience the joy of winter through our children. 

New Year, New Journeys

I haven't been much of a faithful blogger since I joined a couple years ago, but hopefully 2013 will be a new start. We have been through so much in the past year that I never had a chance to document and I'm hoping through becoming a more active blogger, this year will be different. 

After my last post our house sold and closed and 3 weeks after my last post we had moved! We settled into Southampton over a couple of months. Initially Chris moved into the house while the kids and I visited for weekends through November and temporarily moved in with my parents. The kids enjoyed the extra grandparent time and Olivia was able to finish her commitment to the Children's Musical, "A Rockin Royal Christmas" at Bethel. 

We officially moved in to our house with Chris November 26 and began to unpack and settle into a new routine. It's been an adjustment to have him home again, but a joyful one! It is strange to have an extra set of hands for bedtime routines, bathing and keeping the house organized. Chris is eager to make up for lost time and spends many nights giggling and playing with the kids. Each week we've tried to have a family night where we watch a movie together or play a game. 

Christmas was a celebration of being together and of Jesus' birth. As Olivia and David get older, we spend more time talking about Jesus and the sacrifice his birth was for Mary and Joseph, but especially for God who sent his son to this world for us. Olivia is eager for bible time at dinner and before bed. She looks forward to answering a question based on the story, which has encouraged her to listen intently to what her Daddy is reading. 

2013 is a new year, and we are looking forward to the new things that God has in store for us. We have a new home, new church, new friends, and Chris will start his new permanent job at Bruce in February, which is very exciting. I am proud of him for never giving up on his dream and for persevering through some very difficult times. It is something I look forward to sharing with our children as they grow, and hope that it will encourage them to follow their dreams and work to achieve their goals.

It's my first full year as a stay at home mommy and I am looking forward to the time I get to spend with David and with Olivia. This weekend we are looking forward to our trip to Great Wolf Lodge, which was their surprise "big" gift for Christmas. It should be a great time of rest, fun and family time. 

Wishing you all a very happy and prosperous 2013!

Faith, Patience and Thankfulness

Almost one year ago, we started a new journey in our lives. Chris began his journey at Bruce Power, and I started taking care of our little bundles, and our home, alone five days a week. 

We have had such a tremendous year of learning to live by faith and not by sight. Learning to be patient in God's timing and to recognize his blessings - and live with a heart of thankfulness.

In August we spent some time up north with Chris, and got to see him every night for a whole week, it was a wonderful time together as a family. However, the void without him at home the following week was more noticeable to the family, and each of us felt a tug on our hearts to be back together. 

Chris and I were out for a walk and I poured my heart out to him, through tears and laughter I expressed my need and desire to be with him, not part time but all the time. As we walked and talked we saw three stars in the sky, in a formation I've never seen before, I recognized it as a sign of the trinity and felt peace in knowing that God had heard me that night as well as my husband.

Ever the provider and champion husband, Chris began to look for houses in the Bruce Peninsula on MLS. Of course he found this beautiful cottage like home on a quiet street, down from the golf course in Southampton, and I loved the kitchen and open family room, the location and the huge lot. The downside was smaller bedrooms. It seemed a dealbreaker for me. Three weeks later we had a whirlwind day, leaving our Brantford home at 7am and returning just before midnight; we spent the day touring 7 homes, scattered across the Bruce Peninsula - and putting in an offer on.....the beautiful cottage like home in Southampton - after 8 other houses, I saw what Chris instantly saw - a home.

Our conditional offer was accepted. Then our focus switched to our Brantford home. Chris has always amazed me with his ability to adapt to just about any task and be successful. He worked so hard and helped me run a yard sale, and paint 3 bedrooms, a bathroom and the living room over a short 4 day period. He worked morning to night, often stopping just long enough to eat a quick meal and headed straight back. He is a blessing! Our home looks wonderful, all of our "some day" tasks complete. I really do hate to leave now!

Our house has now been listed for 17 days, we have had about a dozen showings and I have had some time to learn patience. It has been a busy few weeks, keeping toys at bay, tidying constantly and always being prepared to pack up the kids and take a visit somewhere while others are touring our house.

I continue to pray not that the house will sell, because I know that God has that under control, but I pray that His timing will continue to lead our path. Our mortgage has been approved, dropping 10 years off the amortization period, and increasing our mortgage from our current home and the payments are still affordable. God is so good!

So as we continue our journey, I have learned to have faith in the little things, patience in the big things and thankfulness in my heart always! Thank you Lord for providing in our every need. Thank you for the peace you provide when we rest in You. Thank you Lord that I don't worry as often, because I can trust that You are in control.

Happy Thanksgiving! Be thankful always, and be anxious in nothing!

Life and Marriage According To My 3 Year Old

O: "I'm getting married mommy!"
M: "When?"
O: "June 26"
M: "Is he a nice boy?"
O: "Yes! He's very nice."
M: "Does he love Jesus?"
O: "Of course mommy. You can't marry boys who don't love Jesus. And he goes to church too; just like me"
M: "Where are you going to live when you're married?"
O: "I haven't figured that out yet."
M: "Does this boy have a house?"
O: "Yes! He has it all planned out."
M: "He will take care of you and love you?"
O: "Yup."
M: "What's his name?"
O: "David. But not my brother since you say I not allowed to marry my brother"
M: "How old is he?"
O: "Fourteen."
M: "That's alot older than you. Does he have a job?"
O: "Yes. He works at Bruce Power."
Officially this nice David boy is a keeper since he works where Daddy does! She's three, almost four and already I'm losing her on June 26. Thankfully she only has an incredible imagination and not a real fourteen year old suitor. :) And she does know the basics, he must be a nice boy, love her, take care of her, love Jesus, go to church and have a good job - and if he's following in the footsteps of her daddy that's ok because her daddy is one in a million and I'm blessed to be his wife!